Old and New

I love the show Extreme Makeover Home Edition. I love how the crew turns a shabby old home filled with dysfunction and falling apart into a new house. I oh and ah over how they reconstructed and revamped the kitchen and bathroom and back yard.

And the special projects that speak to one family member always melt my heart! Then they throw in a car, a college education or pay off the mortgage and I find myself once again believing there is good in the world! Really it is quite a lot of emotions packed into 1 hour. 

Growing up, I always watch it with my mom or my grandma, who, being realists, asked questions like “what is the electric bill going to be now,” or “oh the taxes on that place now,” or “what is the landscape upkeep going to be like.” Really it boiled down to, what is the upkeep on this thing?

In spite of all the really good things that happened on the show my family would get caught up with the electric bills and upkeep. While this put a slight realism on my whimsical idealistic redemption dreams, maybe they understood something that my naïve little revamp, restore and redeem throbbing life didn’t catch.

Here's the thing about newness; you have to upkeep it to keep it new and fresh.

I just got a new car. Bought off the lot, beautiful mountain air blue with hands free technology super safe and reliable SUV (thanks mom!). It has been in about in my care about two weeks and last night I wanted to take it through the car wash and clean it out.

Now, I have owned used cars before and can count on my hands how many times I drove them through the car wash. But after not even 2 weeks I wanted to take this car through the wash.

Why?

Because it has sea air on it and sand inside and my books are everywhere and there’s a slight layer of grim on it.

It’s not new looking anymore. This never bothered me in the past, I had old cars that were already ‘broken in’ so to speak, with scuffs and scratches and quirks.

But this one is new. And entrusted to me. I know one day it will get a scratch and I’ll probably spill coffee on the seats. Life will happen, but I want to do my best to upkeep it, to maintain it.

In Matthew, there is a story where Jesus’ followers ask about fasting, a ritual tradition they grew up with. An old habit if you will. They asked, “How come others do it but we don’t?” Jesus responds with the relation of putting new wine into old wine skins. It just wasn’t done because the old wine skins were worn out and would leak, not keeping the new wine fresh or secure. The wine skins were old, and a new way had to be made.

Christ gave us a new heart, a new life. We can easily try old ways and old habits, like a used car mentality with a new car. Those ways might work for a while, but eventually, the newness is going to seep out, just like old wine skins, or the car is going to become filthy and scratched, just like a used car.

I am not preaching a shiny, perfect life because only one person can do that and his name is Jesus.

What I am saying is maybe there is something to this gift we have been given that goes beyond receiving. Maybe there is something to be said for asking the question of what is the upkeep going to be like? And maybe obeying a new way that the Holy Spirit reveals to you, to upkeep a new life with Christ is the next step.

Winter is Coming

I apologize for my silence. Live got busy suddenly, filled with all very good things. Yet, it has taken me away from doing one of the things I love most, sharing life with y'all.

Well, the leaves have fallen and snow is forecasted for this weekend! Where in the world do I live?!

This question has come up frequently over the past few weeks. As I meet new people, talk to recruiters and friends who see pictures posted online they ask where I live. I am living in the present moment, both with my mind and my heart.

I must this season up here invited me in as I embrace what post-grad life looks like. God answers prayers for community, redemption and provision. I am learning each day that trusting in Him with the day to day is just as important as trusting in Him with the big deal stuff.

As school comes to an end, the job hunt begins. I am pursuing two options intentionally. One will keep me up here and another I do not know yet where I will be.

I ask that you pray as I move forward with these decisions to continue trusting in God and knowing that He will guide me along whichever path comes next.

Love you all dearly and thank you for continuing on this journey!

Fishes and Loaves

October 2015

Acts 2

God still works miracles. He didn’t leave them in the history books where BC becomes AD. He brought them into the here and now-the living present day.

Today, God showed me fishes and loaves.

I didn’t get a train ticket on Friday, thinking that the stations would be open on the weekends. So I had cash, but just enough to get a train fare ticket. Now I prefer to have some extra cash on hand being in the city.

No bother, there could always be more but at least there was enough. Last night I found a $20 bill in my bag, that I don’t ever remember putting there. Great security money, I thought, not giving credit to God.

This morning as I got on the train, I opened my wallet to find $3 extra single dollar bills. I counted last night-there was only $9 in my wallet.

My heart is thanking God for these fishes and loaves. As I hand the $9 fare to the conductor ($6 base fare and $3 surcharge buying fare on the train), he looks to me and says $6. I hand him $9 anyway thinking he misspoke. He handed me back $3. So now there are $26 extra that God made appear! I don’t know of any person on earth who can make money just appear like that. He has us in his arms and in His ways! 

Skylines

The Chicago fire of 1871 came and destroyed most of the city’s wealth and prosperity. Before the fire came, the city was prepared to burn, with a drought that took away any living water to save it. The fire origin is still unknown, but the root of that matter is that the city burned for 2 days and killed around 300 people, leaving the rest to decide what comes next.

Rebuild or reuminate in our rubble?

They grew stronger. Building codes became stricter, buildings were built taller and almost twenty years later the city hosted the world’s fair-more to say look what we overcame. Everyday when I look at the skyline, I recognize that it might not be there. That someone could’ve thrown in the towel, been too depressed, broken hearted or frustrated and left the city entirely.

Thank God they didn’t. They stayed, they dedicated, they might’ve even prayed. They remained present in their town, with their people and with where they were.

When my mind wants to wander and think through where I could be, the skyline reminds me of where I am. In a city of people who chose rebirth over rubble. Who looked to the sky for the limit.

Living and Fear

Recently the books on my shelf made way to my night stand and moseyed their way into my bag. I have been reading A Million Miles in a Thousand Years by Donald Miller and if you have not yet read it, do so! I’ve copied quotes and whispered the sweet word yes on my train rides.

In it he talks about meeting Bob Goff, author of Love Does, before Bob put his ideas to paper. Naturally, I picked that book up at the store. In it he writes his anthem of living life, which is truly a series of stories weaved together to make a collective point: Love does.

Aside from trying to convince you to read these great books, I have been thinking that life is meant to be lived with us taking on the role of main character in the story of our lives.

Before the ‘duhs’ and thoughts come pouring out, let me explain. I love reading. I love hearing stories ranging from personal triumph to God’s redemption to pursuing love. Yet, reading them is a lot easier than living them.

 Lake Front

Living life takes work and effort. It means not always plopping on the couch to scroll through Netflix or having the TV on in the background. It might mean getting up early or staying up late to be present with others. And not solely physically there while on phones or thinking about other things, like work, family or friends. Being present-body AND mind.

I fear not living my life. Stories complete the questions, give resolution, map out the path. Stories inspire and drive me to want to do better. To make something of my life. But it’s a want not an action.

Power comes in action. Moving to Chicago for this internship was just an idea, a mark on my calendar with ideas in my head. Until I packed those bags and came, though, it was just an idea, not a moment.

How many moments of life go unlived?

How many thoughts of what it should be remain imagined rather than reality?

I am learning the thing holding my moments back is fear. Fear of failure, rejection, hardship certainly. But how often do we overlook fear of success? Fear of the unknown-regardless of the outcomes.

Here’s the thing about fear.

Fear is not for us.

 Millenium Park

God makes it clear to fear not for He is with us (Joshua 1:9). The truth I am learning about this is fear isn’t designed for us and we weren’t designed for it. So why do I spend so much time trying to overcome it rather than stepping aside so God can do what He is designed to do?

What would happen if we stopped living in fear? If instead of throwing caution to the wind, we threw our desires, dreams and hopes on the table to be exposed? To see the light of day without fear of anything, just honesty in the desires of our hearts. To live in the world instead of our heads.

 Millenium Park

What if these ideas moved. Breathed life. Became present.