Core Strength

Ab workouts have never been my favorite. Take me to spin class or a long trail run or the weight room to see that crazed happy endorphin smile. Ask me to do mat work or a core class to hear a sheepishly hesitant "...um....sure??" So far in life I have avoided ab workouts and it didn't hurt me....

...until my first week of internship. During a session with a preschooler, I sat on the floor trying to get them to engage. They turned from what they were doing across the room and turned towards me. My head was celebrating. "You got it! You are doing great! You can do this! You..."WHAM!..."You are now lying on the floor....what?!"

Premature victory. I wasn't prepared for them to come across the room at full speed towards me with no intention of slowing down. I felt weak. The lead OT turned and said, "Gotta have core strength in here."

James 1:6 says, "but let him ask in faith with no doubting, for the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea that is driven by the wind." Recently, I have felt like a wave in the sea, following the emotions that flooded from failed expectations. One moment, I'll feel great, competent and professional. The next, unprepared, frazzled and uncertain. Being great at my internship became my focus as I spent time thinking on my professional self. I started to make it a part of my core, something I am, not just something I do.

As I have been away from those who taught me what faith in action looks like, I find myself back at the basics. Love God and love others.

I am reminding myself of the core of how I live; faith, forgiveness and freedom. That's what I desire to be at my core and even though I may be weak in some areas now, I have hope and trust that the ultimate trainer will see me through each workout so the actions of my life will reflect what's on the inside.

I am still weak, growing stronger daily as I make time again for prayer and moving scripture from the pages to the heart. It makes me stronger, refreshed and awakened to living the day before me.

I still don't like core workouts, but I am learning to respect their purpose. To re-define and provide a strength necessary to live out my days.

Take time to do your own core strengthening asking yourself what do you want to live for? How are you growing towards that?

Forts and Fortresses

Where I am: Melbourne, FL

Studying: Pediatrics

Learning: Trusting in God

Verse: Psalms 91:1-2 "He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will abide in the shadow of the Almighty. I will say to the Lord, "My refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust."

Details: 

Working pediatrics stretches, opens and grows you like nothing else. I was prepared for handling challenging behaviors, talking with families and coming home with marker/crayons/food/paint all over me.

I wasn't prepared for walking alongside trials. Yes, I work in health care and yes, I generally work with population where that should be expected. But most of the cases are short-lived, quick trials that ease out when clients leave the hospital.

Not pediatrics. You walk life with them. Their files are not only filled with scores and diagnosis, but with stories. Stories of families that are broken, where someone else stepped in to make things whole. Stories where loved ones were taken away or hurt making it so our paths merge together. I have fought back tears reading these tales. The family members who are stepping in to pick up the pieces are saints in my mind, showing examples of humility and loving service each week. I fight myself in sessions from wrapping my arms around these kiddos to try by some feebly naive attempt to reassure them that the world is still good.

He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will abide in the shadow of the Almighty. I will say to the Lord, "My refuge and my fortress, my God in whom I trust." This is becoming my prayer. When I want to build that fort around them, I pray that the One who is a fortress will come to them.

Taking Our Place

Location: Melbourne, FL

Studying: Pediatrics (still them kiddos)

How I am Becoming: Quiet in what I bring

How you can pray: stillness to listen to the opportunities around me

The Details: 

Thank you for your thoughts and prayers! I am (slowly) learning to embrace change and find my way in this working world. The past few weeks have been busy with traveling, learning and celebrating. Yet, God has been good to provide small moments to rest during this time. 

Recently, I went to Disney with some friends (gotta use that seasonal pass before summer blackout days hit). Over Christmas I got a new camera and all I have wanted to do is take pictures! So when asked which park I wanted to go to, is it surprising I said Animal Kingdom?! Where else can you take photos of animals from all over while eating a delicious Mickey Ice-Cream Bar?

We walked through their aviary and nature walks, snapping shots along the way. And while there were many photos I am a little proud of, I love this picture, mainly because if you look too quickly you might miss the beauty of it.

There is a bird, sitting on a rock amidst trees and plants larger than that bird could ever dream to be. And yet there is a quiet confidence about him proclaiming his presence while taking his place in the vast hustle around him.

I was assigned to follow a therapist two weeks ago and am starting to see the same kiddos continually. It is amazing watching their personalities bloom more each week.  

One toddler is slowly stealing the show. At first, she entered treatment sessions timid, constantly needing to run back to mom for reassurance. Any changes, new toys, sounds or people, threw her off instantly reverting her back to being shy, timid and withdrawn. 

As I walked down the hall this week to bring the family back for session, she meet me in the hallway...by herself. She then proceeded to guide me to the treatment room as mom followed behind us (both of us making the "Who is this kid?" face to each other). This little miss then took us to the gym where other kids were playing a game. She marched her cute little self to the middle of that game and babbled. Babbled as if she had the most important things to say. And despite her words being only sounds, everyone was focused on what she was saying. Not her sounds, but her presence. She commanded the attention and none of us minded. In fact, we needed that moment together to stand in awe of little one who just learned the power of her presence.

In OT, we have this concept called therapeutic use of self. What it boils down to is that we can use the latest technologies and the most researched ideas into treatment, but the only thing we are guaranteed to be bringing in is ourselves, the therapist. What are you bringing in? What needs to be left out? And how are you allowing who you are to make an effect on therapy?

I am finding that often, our presence in treatment can become therapeutic when we embrace what the person needs in that moment. Amazing how the most important thing we bring is ourselves!

And when we know ourselves, allowing God to live through us, life begins. 

So, I have a question: what do you bring to your work, family, home or life that only you can bring? Are you taking your place or shying away?