What's Next?

I get this question almost anytime I talk about this season of my life. It comes from a place of anticipation, engagement and interest on their part. But recently, my heart has grown fearful at the numerous options laid before me to the point where I want to wear a T-shirt that says, “What’s Next? I don’t know. Ask me in a year.”

Silly and ridiculous I know, but it would be clearer then the many conversations had that go something like this, “Ummm, well…I do this and then I am not really sure. I’m praying about it and leaving it up to God…um…yeah.” Uncertainty has become an unwelcomed friend.  

Having driven the road of 75 many times, the usual stops occurred, peach farm and the cheapest gas station around ($1.89 per/gallon). The road has been a part of my life for so long, from trips in high school from Tennessee to Florida, to summers spent in North Georgia and the countless ‘Tour De Florida’ throughout college. And while this season of vagabond, nomadic life has been grand, I can’t help wonder what lies on the other side? The stable side, you know, the one where you aren’t living out of a suitcase?

But is that me coveting something that God has not given me? What if this IS the life I am called to and I just missed the message?

I would live in my head with these questions for months if it were my way, analyzing and synthesizing responses. Thankfully my sister isn’t this way. She gets to the heart of the matter and asks the questions on mind and heart with such intention. So it should come as no surprise that she asked me, “When are you going to stop this nomadic season and settle?” 

 Earlier this week I sat on the comfy couch in the very loving home of the Patterson’s. They are the anchors to Gainesville that remind you that life can be done, just trust in God. The question came up of what’s next and I hemmed and hawed with the typical response like the one shared above. What I got was unexpectedly refreshing. “I’m not God, but here’s my opinion….”what followed was truth my heart needed to hear that has led me to this:

Psalms 103- God makes known His plans and pardons us, heals us even. So why are we still living in this analysis of paralysis, where we don’t know which way to turn out of fear that it will be the ‘wrong’ choice, so we don’t move at all? When He gave us the freedom to live we chose to think about that freedom rather than live it?

Now back to my sister's question. When is the nomadic lifestyle ending? Soon. What's next? I don't know yet, but something grand, of that I am certain.