Not just friends, family

I grew up going to St. Paul's Church until we moved to Tennessee. I spent most Sunday mornings in Sunday School, summers in VBS and Wednesday nights at Kids Connection or youth group. Needless to say I was what you call a 'church rat.' If I wasn't at home or at school, I was at church.

And here is where I learned that friends can become family. You know, those friends who probably know you better than you know yourself, not because of some personality test or a cool thing you learned in college but because they have been on so many late night road-trip pitstops with you that true colors came out when you did not get the Doritos or Double Stuff Oreos two gas stations back so we HAD to stop. The friends who you talk to and it is like no time has passed at all. The ones you are incredibly proud of because they are embracing who they are and building their lives. Those kinds of friends are worth more than anything.

Hannah, Shelby and I at Mary's rehearsal dinner 3 years ago.

Those years of sleepovers, bible studies, pool parties and Gilmore Girls binge watching fests connected us. We lived through life together-dyed hair, pimples, first kisses and all!

The last time we were all together, one of use was getting married. It was crazy watching Mary take a step towards being what the world sees as grown up, when we just saw her taking the natural next step to walk life with her best friend.

Mary's Maids with Brandon 3 years ago at their wedding-probably one of my favorites!

Over the years, we have woven in and out of each other's lives. Phone calls from Josh, texts from Hannah, letters from Mary and coffee dates when our schedules collided. Each living our lives but reminding the others that we are still here if they need anything. 

One of Mary's visits to UF just to say hey

Two weeks ago this coming Wednesday, I watched a friend from this family get engaged to an amazing girl who I cannot wait to welcome into our little family. I drove home thinking how amazing life is that God allows us to connect with others in such deeply intimate and vulnerable ways and I thought of all lying ahead- a wedding, parties and celebration!

Then, a week later, we all sat in the sanctuary-the same one were we went in every Wednesday for Kid's Connection and youth. We looked up to the stage- the very one we had been on for so many musicals, solos, worship sessions, puppets, dances and prayers-to say goodbye to a father who in my opinion was taken much too soon. Mary, Hannah, Jessica and I sat, about in the same place we used to sit for the better part of our lives, swimming between tears of searing loss and laughter as memories surfaced while the magnitude of what was lost and what will be lost became real. 

Back at her house, away from the formality that pushed us to grow up, we ate taco soup and watched the house fill with faces of people who helped mold us into who we are today. We sat on the couch, laughing about beach trips, talking about current jobs and future dreams. Looking back it seems like inappropriate talk for a funeral. As if talking about living means we forgot about the loss we came together for. 

Ecclesiastes 3:4 says there is "a time to weep, and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance." 

I don't know if we handled it right, if we said the right words to comfort our family. I don't know what season this is, or if it even can be labeled. I don't know what it is the time for because within a day we felt all of it. But maybe friendship is not about saying or doing the 'right' thing or knowing what season it is. Maybe it's about showing up. For the engagements, weddings and funerals. 

 Our family back at Shelby's house, the day of her dad's memorial service.